I said it.

It's not that I don't want to make a difference. I know I have and I know I will continue to. But maybe I don't want to be special or make something of myself. Maybe I don't want everything that everyone else wants. And I don't mean for me. For me, I do want happiness and I do want companionship and I do want shelter, food, and a great handbag (still working on that). But maybe I just want to be ordinary. I just want a job that I can go to everyday and be productive. I don't have to change the world. I don't need to. The world is the world is the world. And maybe by my NOT striving thriving to change it it will in fact continue to be what it is. With its ironies and its poetries. Its wins, its losses and its tragedies. Tragedies like someone who is not ordinary trying to be.