I said it.

It's not that I don't want to make a difference. I know I have and I know I will continue to. But maybe I don't want to be special or make something of myself. Maybe I don't want everything that everyone else wants. And I don't mean for me. For me, I do want happiness and I do want companionship and I do want shelter, food, and a great handbag (still working on that). But maybe I just want to be ordinary. I just want a job that I can go to everyday and be productive. I don't have to change the world. I don't need to. The world is the world is the world. And maybe by my NOT striving thriving to change it it will in fact continue to be what it is. With its ironies and its poetries. Its wins, its losses and its tragedies. Tragedies like someone who is not ordinary trying to be.

Sure, I know exactly what you mean

Today was orientation. I was getting oriented to my new status as a student of graduate school. There was a semi-interesting Keynote Speaker. An alum of the college. And here is the one single item I jotted down during his whole presentation.

Net Present Value of Future Cash Flows at appropriate Risk Adjusted Discount Rate.

That is all I wrote. Or should I say, that is all she wrote. I am wondering if I knew what it meant when I wrote it. And I wonder if I really thought that several hours later I would STILL know what it means. How optimistic of me.

Maybe in two years, when the program ends, I will know exactly what this means. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. But I know, either way, it will be worth it.

The back of my mind's mind

I am a geek.
I am back in school after an almost 11 year hiatus and I am loving it. Sure there is no homework, readings or papers due just yet but being in the classroom scribbling notes in a notebook and in general "getting it" (well, most of the time anyway) is SO MUCH FUN!
Of course, there are other activities that are more fun but it is truly fulfilling. When I am in class, I certainly have time to let my mind wander, but when it does, in the back of its mind (yes, the back of the back of my mind) it has a calm feeling knowing that I am sitting there for a reason and towards a goal. So, no - not FUN but fulfilling. And isn't that a fundamental portion of fun? (Love the pun, don't you)

No, we don't do autographs

We were on the teevee tonight. An email at 3 pm and by 6:01 pm there we were. Contestants on the Discovery Channel's Cash Cab with Ben Bailey who in some ways completely resembles cartoon character Beetle Bailey.
We taped the show in October. Oh, did I ruin it for you? It was not a random pick-up. Oh well, hopefully you will still enjoy the show.

After the show we ran up to the vet's office to get some medicine for our cat, Duncan and we stopped in to Balduchi's for dinner. Big mistake. I had an allergic reaction to something in our food (saag paneer and chicken tiki masala). This is the second time in a short period of time that I have had a reaction to Indian food. Guess what?! No more Indian food for me ever again. Hmm. . . Weird end to things. This was so sudden. Can't we talk about this?

X Number of Things About Me: II

I am not too good with keeping up with my blog.

It's 2006 and there are two exciting things on the horizon (ok, three but the third one is pretty personal so I can't mention it as a definite)

1 - I am starting business school! Yeah! So great that I will be back in school and will be going towards my goal of having letters after my name. Letters. Sweet.

2 - My sister is moving to London with her new husband and what does that mean? (aside from the fact that I will miss her beyond what words can describe) It also means that a trip to Europe is in my future!!

3 - This is the personal one - but my husband and I will probably (no promises for anyone out there) try to use our reproductive organs for some reproducing!


The last few weeks of the year were fun - went by quickly and in general while most people might say they were nothing to write home about, I definitely feel they deserve some details and some sort of summary.

Dec 23-Dec 26 was the annual Christmas time in Vermont trip. This year it was my parents, Liza and Glen, me and Jeremy and Duncan (the cat). We skied on Saturday and tubed (yes, we went tubing) on Sunday. The tubers (tubists?) were myself, Jeremy, Liza and Glen. It was an auspicious start as we went back and forth and forth and back telling each other - oh this is just for kids! oh what will it be like - oh should we even go. We went. For several reasons. The most important one being we had free passes. Were this s $20 for two hours ticket, well, we would have surely stayed back at the condo and watched bad movies or Christmas movies (not necessarily interchangeable for those watching for any post 2005 wrongful statements on Christmas. No matter how hard you try you won't find any of those statements here!)
So, we tubed. This consists of sliding down a small slope (think bunny slope) while your butt is in a tube. The tube is not your run of the mill flotation device. The top looks like your regular tube but there is no hole through. So, you see. And I do wish I had remembered to take photos.
The best part was probably the 4 year old who was with his parents and really did not want to go down the slope alone in his tube. And those were the rules. We went down and then back up a few times only to find his parents negotiating with him and telling him how much fun it would be sans mom or dad in the tube with him. Finally as I was making my final way to the Magic Carpet (the moving sidewalk that takes tubists and their tubes up the slope avoiding the need for a very unpleasant vertical walk) I saw he made his way down. Joy!

December also included a watch for our Cash Cab episode to come on the teevee and it never came. We started on Dec 12. 7 people in the living room. Almost about 20 people nationwide tuning in at 6 only to see us! And then, at 7 pm, no airtime was had! What a disappointment! But funny just the same. My parents ended up fielding most of the phone calls and even better, my mother was told the next morning, how much her co-worker enjoyed seeing me on TV. Silly. I wasn't on the tv! Since she had never met me, I guess she just wanted to believe a contestant was me. Lo and behold, it wasn't. Florida ratings of the show have definitely spiked throughout the month since my two aunts in Delray and my uncle in St. Petersburg have become regular watchers (dare I say, fans?!) of the show.
Dec 22 came and at 3 we were told - you will be on. Emails were sent, phone messages left and yet, not a Jess or a Jeremy to be found on Discovery Channel. The next date has been set for this Thursday but let's just say I am not holding my breath. (and I hope no one I know will be either)